bob marley

I've been feeling a bit lost the last couple of weeks.

sitting in the darkness

questioning my vision
questioning my purpose
questioning my choices

I know this is a slippery slope
and I choose
to slide.

gives you a glimpse where my mind is at.

I whisper

"I'm still alive for a reason right?"

I have to believe this.

have to believe...

yeah.

patience isn't one of my strong points.
and it's been really hard not to compare
where I'm at, considering the choices I've made.

judgement
criticism
shame

that's my voice I hear.

why...

I'm tired
so tired
of grinding away

every day.

so I ask you why?!?

why am I still here?

still here...

I drift from my mind
to my heart
and listen

and I hear silence. nothing.

I decide to go check up on Kismet
I hear her light snore
I crack a smile imagining her chasing that squirrel.

I turn on the TV, go make a cup of coffee and I hear

Neville: [talking to Anna about Bob Marley] He had this idea. It was kind of a virologist idea. He believed that you could cure racism and hate... literally cure it, by injecting music and love into people's lives. When he was scheduled to perform at a peace rally, a gunman came to his house and shot him down. Two days later he walked out on that stage and sang. When they asked him why - He said, "The people, who were trying to make this world worse... are not taking a day off. How can I? Light up the darkness."

I feel my heart skip a beat as I listened.

and I don't believe in coincidences.

#chasingbutterflies